What to say...

15.3

2005-11-18T12:06:00.001-07:00

i think i might be going crazy. the loneliness and insecurity is overwhelming sometimes. the lethargy is taking over, again. i need new things in my life. this is what happens when blogs go bad, they turn into boring self-deprecating and reflective diary entries. it feel like i'm in jr. highschool. i wish that writing bad over-reactive poetry would help now like it seemed to then. i could write not-so-cryptic prose about unrequited love and how cool i am but no one knows it, and how any day now people will realize my brilliance, but i will have moved on.

recommendation: i'm so much cooler then your boyfriend (bop skizzum)

15.2

2005-11-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

here is a new list to catch up on the time i've missed...
.5 evan's b-day at lucky strike, bowling for the overprivledged.
1. city-wide pillow fight (see 15.1)
2. weirdest flobots show ever. halloween at the deadbeat club. some of us dressed up like the flobots, talk about fan boy/girls
3. halloween at evolution for softcore... i was lame and didn't dress up. there was an awesome rainbow bright costume. i love reminders of childhood.
3.5 saw carmen (in preview) at the new opera house. so cool, w/ sub-titles in the back of the chair in front of you.
4. voted. everything passed (except d) even the pot possesion. crazy.
5. trying to save money, and not eat sugar. problem being i really like sugar and it was halloween.
6. i've been kinda lame and in hiding. not so much going out or sociallizing.
7. streap throat once agian. 3 times since aug. and i don't even work wih kids. stupid.
and now we are caught up again.

15.1

2005-11-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

it has been a long time again but there is a story i should tell.

so the week before halloween, i was at a coffee shop and found this flyer... it looked like a 10 year old drew it and i will try to quote it as much as possible it said:
pillow fight!
friday 10/29 (then the 9 was changed into an 8)
10pm sharp we mean it!
come in costume
bring your friends... to hit them
meet at the n/w corner of 13th and washington... and maraud from there

i imagined the most wonderful scenerio, where a fourth grader made this cute little flyer for his fourth grade friends, they were going to have a big time in the city, but one of them left a flyer on the bus and someone found it and made tons of copies and distributed them all over denver. in my scenario a bunch of crazy hipsters show up to battle the fourth grader and take back their streets. this was not however the case. but it was still one of my favorite nights ever.

i showed up at 10 sharp (i can follow directions like what.) and went over to the n/w corner. there were about 8 kids (by kids i mean 20something kickballers) dressed in black on the s/w corner and a couple of people on the n/w side. the media was represented and some cameras were ready to shoot, but in true hipster fashion most of them were late. no one was claiming the event, the press kept asking who planned it but no one would answer (i think it was this guy in a houndstooth jumpsuit, with a whistle, so hot.) anyway by about 10 after each side had reached critical mass, about 25 people per side of the street, and when the light changed everyone ran into the middle of 13th ave and started hitting. pure chaos. when the light turned green someone whistled, someone yelled "LIGHT" and everyone returned to their respective sides. this continued for 40min. so awesome. so tiring. i love everyone who showed up that night. it was such a pure event. just fun. no malice. someone even brought an already open pillow "for ambience" and was passing out handfuls of feathers. other people came with home made pillow club type things. so great. it ended with the cops third trip though, and a helicopter shining a light. someone called in a traffic disturbance, but the fun had been winding down anyway, people were so tired they were sitting in the street flailing pillows.
i don't think i can get across how great it was.

recommendation: throw your own city wide pillow fight.

12.1

2005-10-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

so as you see six weeks have pasted... six whole weeks, and i was doing so good for awhile there. so the advice is just to start writting again and not get caught in the weeks missed. also lists have been suggested so here it goes:
major events/ just fun not so major events:
1. robot party
2. fun in NYC
3. wedding
4. more fun in NYC
5. work on shows. a lot.
6. show #1 (realism: the mythical brontosaurus) up and running
7. show #2 (horror: the transformation) up and running
8. lots of birhtdays, but not so many parties (shout up to jamie, gail, nick, darren, and lots of others i am missing right now.
9. the first snow of the season
10. a new hair cut

so that is basically it. i am back.

6.2

2005-09-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

so it is Friday. ahhhh friday the day that everyone looks forward to… except this weekend will be no different from my week, i might even be working harder and sleeping less (not for the sake of fun but instead for work.) fridays should included happy hours and apps, not stupid puppets that don’t work.
sometimes i just wish we did normal theater. i know that everyone loves what we do (and so do i) but it would be so much easier to just produce already written realistic shows. i am just feeling lazy and overwhelmed right now, i know that i would really hate making average theater. today will be the 6th day in a row that i have been either at the theater or 5 green boxes for over 12hrs. per day and even when i make it home i am still working on shit.
last night as i was driving home, my tire blew out. i went to sleep knowing that i would have to change it in the morning. i was going to go in early to finish the puppets, so i would just have to get up a bit earlier, but then i forgot and started to drive away. i stopped to change it and it was again an ordeal, the wheel wouldn’t come off. can nothing be on my side this week? i also can’t find my drivers liscence. i have to do a lot of shit before i leave for NY, including a 3000 piece mailer that no one has time for. AHHHHHHHH. lucky i have a valid passport if i can’t find my drivers liscence.
should i buy a powerball ticket for tomorrow’s drawing? someday karma has to swing back, right? maybe it's tomorrow.

i did take enough of a break on wednesday to watch “so you think you can dance” and i still love it. it just keeps getting harder. i want nick to win. i don’t even understand if there will be a guy and a girl who win or just one person. anyway, one of the judges (who straightened his hair for this episode, bad choice brian, i think he might have even had a weave ugh.) said that nick belonged on stage with celine dion, not so sure that is a compliment but nick sure took it as one. he is such a smiler, i love him.

i just bought a wedding present and i am not sure how i am getting it there, don’t worry people i am not going to spoil it, i am 100% sure that liz (the bride) reads this, so i will just say that i might wait to give it to them when they have the denver reception. that’s kosher right? i mean wedding rules say i have a year to give them a gift, so a couple weeks shouldn’t be a problem. then they can figure out how to get it back to the city.

recommendation: take time for dancing.

6.1

2005-09-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

so, i'll go a bit out of order...
the contractors failed. and so we have been building our own set/house. it sucks, the stress is overwhelming, i am exhausted. i spent sunday (after working for five hrs) framing and working of the postcard. i spent 10 hours yesterday drywalling and mudding. so tired. the shows happen very very soon and i am leaving for five days in the middle here. oh well, nothing to be done. i will have a great time in NYC, the rest of buntport is totally capable of doing it with out me, it is just one less person that might be helpful during crunch time. oh well.

so now for the fun of life (yes i am back to the fun, even if i am still draggin a bit); friday night my boy was supposed to meet my college friends. we were supped to go to dinner and hang out etc. but i got a call that he was stuck at work. i was totally fine with the prospect of marc not making dinner, i wasn't even really disappointed except i knew what the others reaction would be... not good. anyway, they were a little peeved about it but we had fun anyway. we went to pete's central one, a greek place, where the food just keeps coming: apps, soup, salad, gyros and ouzo(sp?), yes the ouzo(sp?) just kept flowing. and we got a little tossed at dinner. then we went over to sputnik where marc finally did meets us, (lucky cuz there was about to be a mutiny, i think they were about to go kidnapp him from kinkos) he had had a rough/long day at work, but then we started to drink, and drink a lot. we went next door to see the hot iqs play and to send them on their trip to cmj, it was a good show they even played "fucking on the nightstand" which they never play anymore. We all went home, not totally sure how everyone got to their respective house but i feel confident they did.
marc and i were both super hung-over in the morning, and stumbled to breakfast before i had to get to work. which reminds me i should get some groceries because eating at home is easier sometimes. anyway, wrap it up sam... it was a very fun and drunk evening, i haven't had one of those in a long time.
saturday night was the lupec crush party. also quite fun. michael (the distant one, the original) came to my house to learn about her new mac for awhile, then we went to the early lupec mixer. lupec (ladies untied for the preservation of endangered cocktails) are a fun group of gals who drink a lot (fun drinks) and network/chat about politics and women’s history. after the mixer (at sputnik) we went next door (to the hi-dive) (deja vu.) there were three of my favorite djs (marc/the postman, andrea/yer mom, and michael/giddy wigdan) and drink specials to benefit planned parenthood. also they had crush-o-grams: for $1 you could send a pin to a crush and write a note, for another $1 the crushee could get the note from the crusher and find out the identity, so fun. i got four buttons. i am sooooo popular. just kidding. but it sure was exciting to get pins. michael and i ditched out early but still had a really good time, supported a good cause and saw some friends.

in conclusion: i had a fun weekend even though i am really stressed out. my random friends (who are important just not always present) got to meet my boy. and they like him a lot, they might even love him, whatever, they approve.

recommendation: send middle school note to people, you know the type, check this box if you like me...

5.3

2005-09-08T23:14:00.000-07:00

this was the fortune in the cookie i got today at spicy basil:
do it because you love it

at a previous visit to the same establishment i got a fortune that said:
kiss the person next to you

so great. i think that there is some sort of extremely perfect meaning in the one i got today, but i can't go into it right now.

recommendation: thai chicken pockets at spicy basil (i think they are just a basic basil chicken that you wrap in iceburg lettuce, but it is so good)

5.2

2005-09-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

so when you are in the midst of an existentcial crisis it is great to have friends that fill different roles...
the friends who nod and question, the friends who agree and wallow with you, the friends who will try to over analyze and fix it, the list continues. i am thankful to all of the people i have forced to listen to me over the past couple days. I am a bit of a wreak, crying in coffee shops all over town. it is rare that i am like this and it must mean something.
is it the hurricane and flooding? the disorganization and chaos that is leading to death and unnecessary destruction? the racism? the government's lack of response? the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness? is that what is causing my melancholy?

is it the anxiety about the shows? my recent lack of interest in everything related to theater? the guilt i feel for being able to do whatever i want to in terms of my art, and not being inspired to do anything? is that the hollowness i feel?

is it the loneliness? the longing for friends that are not here? and the self-reproach because i am very lucky to have the friends i do? i am surrounded by love and well aware that (as cheesey as it sounds) i have to fill my own emptiness. is my gloominess caused by the ideal that i should be happy and therefore blame myself because i am not?

anyway, enough blah blah, this is like a freakin’ diary entry, well i guess they all are, but this one is like i am in 9th grade or something… “what am a going to do with my life? what if bobby doesn’t like me? what should i wear to school tomorrow” LAME.

Recommendation: make a happy mix tape, and dance yourself silly. mine includes: mates of state (haha) shins (new slang) commom (the light) and the killers (mr. brightside)

5.1

2005-09-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

updates:
#1 i went to the apple store and to no surprise the cord worked fine...then i left and it stopped again. but luckily enough marc had an extra cord, so problem solved.
#2 i am on round two of antibiotics for this stupid throat shit.
#3 the wood came to build the set, but it hasn't been built yet. panic is setting in.

and now for the ramblings...
there is a movement in my social circle for the autumn of productivity to follow the summer of fun. the movement is slow but kinda inspiring, we'll see what comes of it.

since my last post my past week goes like this: (i like to title them)

tuesday: girl’s night. i went out with my girls from college, i never see them anymore. it is weird when you spend three years (it would have been four except for study abroad programs) with people almost everyday, and then not at all. we were friends for the simple reason of proximity; we just lived near each other freshman year, and then couldn’t escape. i am glad it worked out they are really great, and unlike anyone i know. we went out to celebrate: michael got her braces off (yes, female pronoun, she is one of two girls named michael who have inhabited my life) she was 27 with braces and i am so happy for her that they are gone. her teeth are beautiful and perfect now.

celebration #2 Pui got engaged. she has been dating this guy michael (i know. it was even more confusing when michael was dating a different guy named michael because then I had to refer to them as michael and michael and michael and pui.) for years now and she has finally overcome her fear of commitment. he is fantastic, and they are both very lucky to have found each other. i don’t know many people who could put up with pui. i love them both, wishes of happiness and wealth.

wednesday: dance night. justin and i watched “so you think you can dance” boy do I love that show. the suspense is killing me. who will get cut. stay tuned.
then we went to an old school nintendo party at rise. now, think of how great an old school nintendo party could be and then imagine the disappointment. there were only 3 people in costume, only one place to play, and the only game was mario. and to top it off we were in lodo, at rise. i didn’t hate it. that is all i have to say. except to try to inspire people to throw their own old school video game parties, just think of how great they could be…ahhhhhhh.

thursday: science picnic. talked about: intelligent design. adam and eve vs. dinos. weight of clouds. mammals that can’t jump. panda cartwheels. consuming tons of cheese. color of blood. dogs clucking and chickens barking. overall it was a fun and educational evening. go science.

friday: datenight. I tried my very hardest to get marc to just plan a date. but he keep giving me choices, which is nice but i am at my most indecisive right now and will do anything. i ended up choosing a lovely evening of le central (mussels and fries) and bowling. i killed the first game of bowling but then realized i was dating a freaking hustler, after we had bet of course, and lost the next two games. now i owe him some socks (which I bought yesterday, super hot, brown w/ pink skulls. I am 95% sure he doesn’t read this, but if you’re reading this marc, way to ruin a surprise.) then we watched dogville which is a really long, not exciting movie that will kill any kind of romance that had been in motion. oh well. saturday morning continuation of datenight: marc met my mom while letting out my cat, (awk.) i thought it was funny. so did my mom.

saturday: virgosupercluster party. karen and wendy had a combo birthday party (will the birthdays ever end?) it was fun but I was so tired. too much fun and work. there was a fashion challenge, a poetry challenge, a lot of culinary delights and enjoyable company, but i retired early. i had to work at 8:30am, stupid new job getting in the way of fun.

sunday: non-commital day of lazy. i went to work at 5 green boxes then visited the farmers market. started to lazy out and went home to chill. marc came over and we watched some bad t.v. thought about going to movies, got a call from some kids about going to see 40 y/o virgin, and the decision was made. it was a great Sunday afternoon, just how they should be.

monday: moody day of labor. i caught a funk yesterday and was all kinds of moody, i was lonely and teary and full of self-pity. i hate myself when i am like that. i also don’t want to be that girl, the wet blanket, ho-hum girl. so instead of inflicting my pouting on others, i wallowed by myself.

this post is too long, and i didn’t even say anything. Maybe next time.

recommendations: slurpees. did i already recommend slurpees? well here it is again. slurpees.

4.3

2005-08-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

here are some picts from the photo booth at sputnik. i miss my gary. (single tear.) really this is just photo posting practice.
ps i figured out how to link things...it might take awhile.

4.2

2005-08-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

so the most annoying part of my day right now is that the power cord to my computer is malfunctioning. lame. i hate going to the apple store, they charge you for everything, every little thing, and no matter what is isn't their fault. oddly enough the same power cord doesn't work for a lot of people, but it couldn't be a design problem could it? or an engineering issue? no is must be usage, even though i use it how you are supposed to. i love apple, but it is still a corporation, and i sure hate red tape and "procedure" BOO.
annoying part 2: i think i might have strep throat again. that just sucks, it has only been like a month since the last time. the nurse said if it was strep it was probably the same one. lame again. i have to wait until tomorrow for the results. in the meantime i am probably getting more people sick, helping to mutate the virus and make it impossible for antibiotics to cure the fucker.
so yesterday... we had a meeting at buntport, finalized some business blahblah etc. then this guy hannah had been talking to (trying to get a donation of wood and such) came by to discuss our set and needs. and then he said it would be built by next friday. WHAT? he is just going to send some of his guys (construction workers) over and they are going to frame a house for us inside the theater. WHAT? that doesn't happen. but whatever they build, we will make it work. it makes me super nervous, what if they don't understand the drawings or our idea at all, ahhhh. but, it is better then us learning how to build a house by ourselves, though that would be a cool skill to have.
i saw two movies yesterday. #1 a sneak preview of "the greatest game ever played." now let me just preface this with how much i love free movies, they are one of my favorite things. having/finding/getting free passes to previews makes my week, anytime it happens. sometimes it is just the greatest thing ever. like in the case of murderball, which we saw months before it came out in denver and i am sure everyone was sick of us talking about it by the time they saw it (it is soooo incredible.) and other times, like in the case of last night's movie, you are lucky you saw it for free. now i love shai lebeouf, i mean love him, in holes, i robot, even stevens, i even love him in constantine, but even he can't make this movie compelling. it was just boring. you might think "well, it is about golf sam; what did you expect?" i expected a sports movie, and everything that comes with it: an underdog story, some great speeches about teamwork or overcoming odds, some tension, and some fun historical facts. see, what you might not know about me is i have a great love and appreciation for the art of sports movies. they are like romantic comedies to me; a guilty pleasure, that i don't feel bad about. i'd watch sports movies all day everyday if i could; movies about football, hockey, dancing, cheerleading, basketball and yes even golf. but the movie last night just didn't tell a good story, the character weren't developed, there wasn't an obvious "bad guy/good guy," the class struggle was glossed over. it was too subtle for a disney movie, and not subtle enough for an indy flick.
but then i saw "brothers grimm" which was really fun. i also love heath ledger and matt damon, so it was a good night of actors at least. i am not going to spoil the movie, it is fantastical and magical and everything you want from a terri gilliam movie about fairy tales.
after the movie there was a little rewind to a time in highschool that i never participated in. in car makeouts. totally fun and awkward.

recommendation: murderball (no joke, best movie of the year)
recommendation 2: people watching in a park @ 3pm, before all the runners come out, when it is mostly stay-at-home- parents and kids.

4.1

2005-08-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

whoa kiddies it is only week four and i am already slacking off in the blogging dept. we'll i think i warned everyone not to expect too much, but if i didn't... don't expect to much.
last week was pretty jam packed with a whole lotta random nothings.
first, i saw that kid again the rapid-fire-air-born-kisses-kid he was standing in the same place, watching that same house. stalker in training.
next as the birthday business continued there were some expected existential crisis’s: getting too old to not have a purpose, being sad about being single, freaking out about everything in general, i had to talk some people off the edge. 29 is not old. i don't care that speilberg made jaws when he was 26, or that every genius is famous by the time they are 12 or something. 29 is still not old.
also, i started my new job. i was training at 5 green boxes last week. there are two stores so i spent 2 days at each. it is a super fun store, and hopefully i can learn some stuff so in my next phase in life i can have a similar place. i am sure that i am going to get tired of it all, it is retail, but they sell cool shit and i don't have to harass people like at my other retail job. maybe, just maybe if i get my shit together and actually start making things and they could sell them... some furniture, candles, prints, jewelry who knows.
we finally finished the fringe festival and we ended it with some good crowds, not great, but i am pretty sure we made our money back. i hope that festival can make it, it is a fun idea, boulder might not be the place for it though.
friday i helped another friend through a bit of a birthday crisis. at least providing a bit of brightness... some bread pudding (from trattoria stella, that shit is sooooo good) and some roses.
the story goes: a long ass time ago (it seem long ago) when i was crushing really hard and hanging on every word he said, he told me that he got girls flowers all the time, and no one ever brought him flowers, i filed that away in "things to remember" and went on with my life. when i brought him the flowers on friday he was surprised "you are the first person to get flowers" "i know. i listen sometimes." sometimes boys are lame.
but then i left him to wallow in his birthday bummery and i went to dinner, a fashion show and yet another birthday party. i had a very fun time, my social retardation might be waning, if i am lucky. i ditched out kinda early, i was tired, it was a long week.
saturday was supposedly the end of kickball for the season. meaning i might get to actually hang out with my boyfriend more, and on a down note, i might not see all the people i was finally becoming comfortable around all the time. the KickBall was a mock formal affair and i had been searching for a dress all week. i finally decided on one i wasn't excited about, but it seemed easy, then on saturday i realized the search was on again. i wanted to look cute at the ball, you can't hold back this fashionista... so on the way to boulder (for the last fringe) with only minutes left, i found a cute ass dress, and i might even wear it again. liz's wedding perhaps. speaking of, it happens that marc is going to be in NYC at the time of the wedding, so i have a real date. back to the Ball... so i was cute, my dress was a hit, i danced (my feet were killing me) and drank (kinda a lot) and had a wonderful time with some great friends (missing some others of course, perry, stupid grad school. sad face)
sunday we celebrated my grandfather's 93rd birthday (the birthdays never stop.) he got a paper shredder, just what every 93-year-old needs. i guess you don't really need things we you reach your 90s, you probably already have it all, or at least you don't wait for a special occasion to get it. also on sunday, another gathering of the kickbawlers, a farewell to their king and leader. the commish left for LA, he will be missed. not so much by me, though over the last couple weeks i have become a fan/friend, but he’ll definitely be missed by the kids whose social lives are, 5 months out of the year, kickball.
more importantly, i got to see doug. he is also on his way to LA. doug is going to be a famous composer/engineer/producer anyday now. he is a genius, in one of the strangest ways imaginable. i love that kid. it is so great to see him, and so rare. it makes me realize how much i miss people that i don't see. i was talking to a friend last night about how there are too many people; you can't spend quality time with all of them because you are spread too thin. it makes me smile, what a great problem to have... too many friends, too many people you love and wish you could spend more time with, too much laughter and too much fun. i have rough life.

recommendation: the bread pudding from trattoria stella

3.2

2005-08-23T23:26:00.000-07:00

rachel rey has yet another show on the food network. i think that means she has four shows, i don't think that they could program a day without at least 3hrs of rr. she is fascinating and so annoying, i wish i could stand to watch her because 30min meals might be a helpful skill. e.v.o.o., lame.
i have been searching for a prom dress for the kick Ball on saturday and it has become a bit of a hassle. finding a blue and/or yellow dress is harder then you would think. i don't really know why i am spending money like i am not poor, but i haven't bought a dress yet so... also i have two more jobs then i had last month so i guess i can spend a little.
i can't think right now, i almost typed "write" now, i should go to sleep.

reccomendation: west wing re-runs

3.1

2005-08-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

friday was one of the longest days i have experienced recently (my days will start getting longer and harder as we get closer to shows opening and with the additions of my new jobs.)recently i have been leading a very leisure lifestyle, i wish it could continue.
anyway, friday i went and sat at the event group office for a few hours, then buntport had a meeting, so i headed over to the theater. our meetings these days consist of some organizational business and then creative blabla. that day we were trying to outline our shows. it is helpful and important and oh so hard when you aren't totally into. people get irritable, bored etc. and it takes forever, especially when you get close to finishing and then you remember that there is a whole other show to outline. the shows are partially written but the plot and specifics are still in the air we'll see what happens by tuesday. at least they have names now... Horror: the transformation and Realism: the mythical brontosaurus.
then we went up to boulder early to do a little guerilla theater and try to get an audience at the rest of our shows. i handed out our bribes/flyers (with candy) at our venue and the other kids went and stood on pearl st. mall, looking up and pretending they're in an elevator. we got rid of all of our shwag, i just hope some people come. then we did a show. then we went over to the fringe office and did this "late show" interview with some other fringe artist and it took FOREVER. we were leaving just as the bars let out in boulder and were witness to a girl fight of epic proportions. they were swinging and yelling and even the bouncer was all in one girl's face yelling. ahhhh boulder, peaceful hippies or couch-burning frat boys? you decide.

saturday, we made some shirts to sell at kickball on sunday, it was really fun, i am not sure why i am not silk-screening shit all the time. i could make some cool stuff. i wish joey was in denver, we could start an art collective and sell stuff. i might have to do it without him... we'll see how it goes. after t-shirts the birthday business continued. stephen and justin's birthdays are close enough for them to throw a joint party, lucky because neither one of them would have motivated by themselves and we would have just gone to dinner and dancing or something that we do all the time. but instead there was a seven deadly sins challenge/party. the sins i pick out of the hat were envy, vanity and gluttony. i'll start with gluttony. we went to the rodizio grill and ate so much meat and sides that i couldn't breathe and could barely stand. the challenge was to eat until you felt like you were going to vomit, and boy howdy, did i feel ill. 1 lb. of meat, fried bananas, mashed potatoes, rice, green salads, meat salads, fruit, bread, GROSS. all of the sins were very complicated and probably not that interesting but it was a very fun night, playing games with friends. i was reminded how lucky i am to know these people. we were doing toasts to the birthday boys but i chickened out so i'll put them in here:
stephen, i am so blessed to have you as a friend, to be able to count on you when it is important and to be a part of your family. don't forget that your dreams are important and when you figure out what it is you truly want, go for with everything you have, we will be behind you, in support, not envy, or jealousy, tears of joy will send you off. but until you are sure what you want, i'm keeping you here, california can't have you.
justin, remember when we didn't know each other, it wasn't that long ago but it seems like a different time. what would i do if i didn't talk to you everyday? you have found a place, you can't get rid of us now. you will find your purpose, soon enough, enjoy the journey while you can. mad love.
there is a bit of sap for everyone, it is really great because they will probably never see those toast, whatever.

sunday: i had a bit of a lazy day...breakfast with marc and then we went to tattered cover and wizard’s chest. i did some grocery shopping and such, and then i headed to boulder once again, the show was fine, that is really all i have to say about it. then yet another birthday party...my dear robs turned 29, she had a pirate scavenger hunt type thing. we missed the hunt part (because of the show) but made it to the nice ass loft downtown, where it all ended. had a lovely time with some people i don't see that often, i mean besides buntport, some other theater people from around town etc. i had some awkward conversations with people i haven't seen in years and then decide to leave because i was super tired (and it was over.) but instead of going home and to bed, i stopped by sputnik to see some kickbawlers, and marc (also a kickbawler,but the real reason i went by.) this tired girl proceeded to stay until 1:30 and drank too much, who do i think i am. i had some fun though and i am happy i was there. my recent mission was to meet new people, make new friends, and though it is taking a long ass time, i think i might be getting there,slowly.

recommendation: tiny zip-lock bags

2.3

2005-08-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

last night was the beginging of this group of birthdays.
last week someone dropped a envelope at buntport, with a ransom note and instructions on how to save agent mathbook, rescue her in time for her birthday. a time and a place to be. i showed up at the time and place, just to be kidnapped myself. i was thrown in a van and blindfoled, driven around for awhile and pushed out at the ending location. which was just a party, at a bar. a little disappointing, because last year there were a lot of clues and such to end up at the party, but i was surprised. we were at the high street speakeasy, an old brothel that has been converted into a bar. it is in a neighborhood that people never go to. i guess the nieghborhood is on the road to gentrification but this road is a slow one.
we also performed at the boulder fringe last night, the audience was super small. lame. nobody likes to work on stuff and then have no one show up. i hope it gets better. we have the late show tonight...we'll see.

recomendation: pon de replay by rihanna (song and video)

2.2

2005-08-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

random bit: two nights ago as i was driving home and i saw this kid sitting on his bike on the sidewalk. he was looking across the street at a seemingly empty house blowing kisses. one after another in rapid succession, semi-automatic air born kisses.

today, is a sad day. the day my friend perry leaves me for (extra) higher education. the kids in cooperstown don't know how lucky they are. perry came back to us after four years at hopkins (including a year in scotland) and a year in japan. denver got a whole fun-filled year of mr. price. i will miss him a lot. over the past year our friendship has become essential to my survival. though i have an incredible group of friends that i depend on for everything, there are about five people that i talk to on the daily. for the past year i think that there were about 25 days that i didn't talk to or see perry. and now he is driving across the country, accompanied by his dad, ready to explore his passion and nerd out about museums and curation. over the year perry has changed tons and it has been fun to watch the transformation. i guess some of that change might have happened over the last five years when i wasn't with him all the time. but, it was fun to see the realization of his identity, and him being comfortable with himself and his surroundings. did i mention i was going to miss him(sad face).

anyway, enough about that... we are back in the swing of the summer of fun. there are so many birthdays this week, and parties, and we are doing some theater in boulder, it just got hectic again. some of the week i missed...
saturday: I went with some kickballers (stephen went too, so i had back-up) to wyoming. i hadn't been to wyoming since my dad lived there in the early 90's. we had some lunch, brought some toys and got some fireworks, which of course is the only reason you would go to cheyenne in the first place.
sunday: rehearsal to prepare for the boulder fringe fest. we are doing "elevator." which happens to be a really good show. sometimes i forget how good the shows we do are, by the end of a run i am so over it, that the relief overshawdows the accomplishment. "elevator" is an average elevator ride that the audience sees in real time, and then again. but the second time you hear the thoughts of the people on the ride. the actors stand perfectly still for 45 min. that is a long ass time to not move, try it sometime. the writing is really good. (this is where i would put in a section of monologue except i am not at a computer with the script on it so... maybe later.) after rehearsal i went to check out the end of DKBC playoffs. kickball has somehow become a large part of my life and i don't even play. luckily it is entertaining and there are people who make it fun. my purpose and role is to remind people that: it is not only just a game, but the game is kickball, it should be fun, always.
monday: rehearsal, bla bla bla. and then the shake taste test. after an ongoing (and foolish) argument about the similarity of fruitloops and earl gray tea (i say it's the smell.) wendy stepped it up and made some footloop icecream. a reduction of sorts where she spent a good amount of time soaking a straining the cereal, with cream and then using her trusty ice-cream maker to create, you guessed it ice cream. i brought the tea and we made shakes, a fun monday night. incase you are curious... the shakes didn't taste the same, the fruitloops was sweeter, and salty you could taste the cereal part (like wheat or something), but it was still a fun experiment.
side note: also monday night there was a long discussion of blogs, which started to stress me out. i am fine with strangers and long distance friends reading reports of my life but it isn't interesting enough for the people i see all the time to want to read my badly written incites.(confused face)
tuesday: a lot of time spent with a failed attempt to make some silk-screens. but i think i figured it out. more importantly i got to hang out with my "boyfriend", that is so weird, i haven't said it out loud, so it is weirder that it is in writing. I haven't had a "boyfriend" since i was 19. holy shit, i was 19.
wednesday: i went to a potluck/curry off. a challenge between friends to make the best curry and talk about how to make our lives important. it was an event by the newly revamped in-context, a much easier version of the workshops they were doing. chronic made the best curry, however the others we very close runners-up. i am a big chronic fan right now, he is a really great person, and i keep finding out new aspects of him that are impressive: cooking, leg and arm wrestling skills, they just keep coming.
now this entry is just too long. don’t expect this to continue, except now i have this job, at least for a while, where I sit and do nothing, not an exaggeration, i do nothing, so i might be writing all the time.
until next time…

blogs making people uncomfortable since 2000.

recommendation: bannana slurpee on a hot day.

2.1

2005-08-14T22:38:00.000-07:00

week two beings...
so it turns out that friday night was not anywhere near as bad as i thought it was going to be. i got to hang out with the boy i like and even though his friends terrify me i survived and didn't make an utter fool of myself. in general i spend a lot of time making sure that i honestly don't care what people think of me. not that i just say it but i believe, that if i am as good as i can be in every way then i don't care what other people (random people) think of me. the glitch is that i do care what certain people think and sometimes their opinions are based on other people's opinions.
anyway... early friday night was spent trying to impress hipsters when i am not even that interested in what they think of me. but when i got to the bar i started to panic, i didn't have any backup, my friends were all hanging out together (where i wished i was), the two people i knew were busy talking to each other, so i ditched out to the bathroom to try to calm down, then pretended to get a phone call but instead called my friends to get a little reassurance. after a talk down, where i almost lost my shit but then just ended up repeating that "i can do this" and "they are good people" i worked my way back into the bar. i put on my best politicing stance and tried to make some friends. it is like i am socially inept.
i made it to phase II where 12 of us went to la boheme, my first regular strip club experience. there it was easier because we didn't have to talk, and if we were talking it was just about the "dancers" who by the way couldn't really dance. i am not sure about the allure of strip clubs, you need to have so much money for it to be worth it, i thought it was a bit depressing.
phase III... everything just got better. the boy and i went to breakfast king and had a lovely time, then went to rollsman's house to meet everyone else. it was a bit rowdy: drinking, rhyming, leg wrestling, the cops came and then we left. all in all not anywhere close to the horror i was creating for myself.

1.3

2005-08-12T17:55:00.000-07:00

i am so dreading what i have to do tonight, and i fucking volunteered. hopefully i can work through the panic attack that is starting to consume me. it can't be that bad, but now i am creating some crazy senerio that is going to make freeze and sit in a corner. anyway, i'll tell you about it later. la boheme here i come.

1.2

2005-08-11T11:04:00.000-07:00

so, let the ranting begin.
i watch too much t.v. i am well aware of this fact. i would be a more productive person if i could limit my addictive personality to one or two shows, but it is just so easy to watch.
in college i was so busy that i only had time to keep track of 90210 (which ended while i was in school) and then dawson's creek. two shows with some bonus movie watching and some daily show, no problem, not taking over my life in the least. but now, there is no show that is as important as dc so i just watch everything, makeover shows, reality shows, law & order of every kind (it's that sound), west wing re-runs, sit-com re-runs, 7th heaven re-runs (you can now see how deep the problem goes)
it sounds like all i do is watch tv, which is not the case, i am a very busy person, but somehow tv seems to suck hours out of my life everyday. last night i watched "so you think you can dance" for 90 whole minutes and there wasn't even any new dancing. no dancing, i am not watching that shit for the drama, i wanna see spinning and jumping and stalling and tricks. but noooo... wait until next week. lame.

recommendations:
movie: saddest music in the world

1.1

2005-08-10T15:29:00.000-07:00

without knowing who will ever find this, or want to read this, it is hard to think of what to say. do people really want to read about my everyday? i started this blog because i have recently become obsessed with other people's blogs and thought i could participate. my ramblings/style might be hard to read so be prepared. i am not really concerned with punctuation, capitalization or spelling so i apologize.
i'll start with a bit of epic beauty that was last saturday night. it should have been epic, it was a wedding, in a beautiful location with beautiful people and sentiment. but... i kinda wish i was at a different wedding. you see the problem with wedding season and being twenty-something is inevitably you will not be able to be at every wedding, stupid double booking.
the idea of true love, soul mates and perfect matches is fascinating to me. that is happens in real life and not just movies, that it is spontaneous and not scripted, it is magic. i am skeptical.
beyond the chaos that is weddings and such, i have had a great summer, filled with playful energy and fun i never expected. my friends are fantastic and they will make anything entertaining.
so, there is a start...

Just checking

2005-08-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

just thought i'd try this out. we'll see if i have anything to say.